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- The Muppets completed their epic 5 month, 24 000km trip:
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So, we’re really going to do this…
Posted on December 20th, 2007 by 2muppets.
Categories: 01. Getting Prepared
Post Location:
Two weeks to go and all that remains to do is to say our farewells, load the bikes and head south. Of course Jody’s bike and Jody have to arrive first, but all the other preparations are done – we’ve made our bike mods, picked up our carnets, had our jabs, taken time off from our jobs and are now getting ready to say goodbye to our loved ones.
I’m really going to miss Catherine, but more and more my dreams have been filled with travelling, and I know I’m ready for the road.
Have a merry Christmas, and a happy New Year everybody, and check back here on the 2nd for our departure post.
Wooo Hooo!!!! We’re really going to do this!!!
Note on contacting us:
While we’re on this trip we’d love to hear from people who are following our progress. Please feel free to drop us a note on the Guestbook page - say gidday, tell us what you want to hear about! Alternatively, if you really need to get us a message urgently, you can text or call our sat phone (very kindly sponsored by Butch and Jill Forrester, Jody’s parents!) on +881641487672, or send an email to 881641487672@msg.iridium.com. Flash eh boy?! There’s no charge for these messages , but we don’t get the subject header, and only 160 characters!
KTM Rallye Raid
Posted on October 17th, 2007 by 2muppets.
Categories: 01. Getting Prepared
Post Location: GPS Map
KTM (SA) and Red Cherry Adventures have teamed up this year to host a 3 day dual sport riding festival open to all KTM dual sport bike owners. This event is in response to the hugely popular BMW GS Challenge. When hearing about the Raid from Marc Webb at Pro-Action I signed up straight away - what better way to test my riding ability, challenge Ernies latest mods, and meet fellow KTM 640 owners.
The event was being held in the Rhodes area of the Eastern Cape, a solid 750km’s from Johannesburg with the event rules specifically stating that participants are not allowed to trailer their bikes to the event. So at 5:30am on Thur the 11th Oct I met up with around 9 fellow riders (including the BikeSA TV crew) at the Blockhouse service station south of JHB. The ride down took us approx 12hrs with a number of stops along the route. Of the 750km’s we did approx 40% on gravel roads which definitely kept the boys spirits up and was a good test of Ernie’s loaded weight on the off-road stuff. Turns out my rear suspension had not been pre-loaded for my weight (OE settings for 70kg person) which caused the bike to go into some pretty nasty speed wobbles over 130km/h. Mark Roach from KTM who was riding with us kindly added some pre-load once we got to the event - sorted!
Arriving at the event we were all impressed with the efficient organisation, KTM branded tents across the polo field, flash new rustic showers, tented area with bar and bean bags, etc etc. The reception we received from the Wartrail Sport Club was just fantastic all weekend. Thur night involved a welcome by the organiser, briefing on the weekends routes, and great chow followed by some serious man drinking. I opted to go for Route 1 the next day (most challenging) mainly because I knew Dan would give me massive grief if I wimped out. This decision turned out to be the right one, as it was a fantastic day of super fast gravel sections, technical mountain passes, and muddy valley sections. Admittedly I was not the fastest on the route (approx 80 of the 280 riders rode Route 1) but completed it with no major incidents. The 640 continues to blow me away with how capable it is - sits on gravel track at 135km/h no problem, and yet is still able to hop up a scree slopes like it was a CRF250.
After Fridays exploits I was feeling rather confident in my riding ability, and despite the numerous warnings that Route 1 on Saturday was going to be a ‘mare, I signed up! Saturdays ride took a slightly different format - it was to be guided, meaning that we all had to stay together as a group. Heading up this group was the event organiser, Alfie Cox (Dakar veteran), and Gio Salo (5 times world enduro champion) !!
I turned up at the start with about 30 other riders - the rest of the weekends participants lining up to wave the ‘racers’ off. I had a very sinking feeling that I was out of my depth! Fortunately I had a familiar face with me in the group - turns out Mark Fleming of ‘Mark & Jack’ (the inspiration for our trip - see www.greatwayhome.com) was occupying the tent next to mine. Well we all set off at a rate of knots through some lush single track valleys. The first major obstacle was a set of very tight inclined muddy switchbacks. The pro’s simply stood up on the pegs, flicked the back out and were up in a shot. Us towards the rear were paddling like made, shaking our booty all over the shop floor. From there it went straight up a single track skree slope with some pretty tight rocky ledges. Mark and I pushed through the first 1.5 km’s of this stuff only to be told that this was the baby slope, it gets steeper and goes on for another 4 kms’s….and this is the 1st of 4 passes. The event organiser came to help us out at the back, and very tactfully put it to us that we were holding up the ‘pros’ but if we wanted to push through he was there to help. Given the high profile of our fellow riders and lack of enjoyment we were experiencing at this stage Mark and I put our tails between our legs and headed back down the track. We switched the GPS across to Route 2 and had a fantastic afternoons riding at a slightly gentler pace, swoping bikes and talking ‘Africa’. Truly inspirational to ride his Winnie - the 640 that carried him through his 16 000km’s (tyres still look like the original Morocco set!)
As per usual the day ended with antics around the campsite area: barrel racing and obstacle course challenges. Followed by some pretty hair raising boozing and biking antics in the tent - burnouts on the bar at 3am seem to be the norm with these boys!
Sunday was greeted with many a hangover, and the occasional tent that had been ’strategically’ moved at 4am ! It was an early pack up and fang straight back to Jburg. I had some great company in Kim Ludbrook who was down to take some pro photo’s for KTM and various other publications - his ride back was slightly more comfy on the big 690. We made it back to Jburg in 10rs, including a massive thunderstorm as we hit home.
I was thoroughly spent come Sunday night but extremely happy with how my riding and Ernie held up over the course of the Raid. The mods done were admired by many and proved to be valuable additions to the bike. To anyone contemplating doing the Raid in ‘08 I would strongly recommend it - unlike other similar events, this really showed off the best dual riding has to offer - riders who know and love their bikes (and take them out further than Sandton!).
Jody
Paper Work and Final Mods…
Posted on September 26th, 2007 by 2muppets.
Categories: 01. Getting Prepared
Post Location:
So we’re getting down to the last 3 months before departure – the current plan being to leave the UK on the 2nd of January 2008, in order to see some of the famous Dakar race, either at the start in Lisbon on the 5th, or on the first day in Morocco, on the 7th. We’ll be ferrying down to
So, to more pressing matters… If Jody had a super power, it would be administration. Pretty lame I know, but this stage of the trip planning is where Jody “Admin Boy” Forrester really comes into his forte!
With any trip like this the administerial aspects really cannot be overplayed. Having the correct paperwork at the notoriously tricky (and corrupt!) border crossings is going to be key to our successful passage through Africa. The plan is to have duplicates of as many documents as we can, all nicely laminated, and ready to pull out at the drop of an AK-47 held by a bored checkpoint guard in the middle of Nigeria. Some of the documents that we need to start applying for include:
- Carnet de Passage en Douane
A carnet is a bit like a passport for a bike. Many of the countries we are visiting have laws requiring carnets, to prevent people bringing vehicles into the country and selling them, (I guess?) undermining the domestic market for these vehicles. To get a carnet in the UK, I have to place a deposit of 150% of the bike’s value (or buy insurance to cover this) with the issuing agency, as well as paying a fee for processing. It’s not a cheap enterprise! Jody on the other hand got his Carnet in S.A. for a packet of crisps and a Mars bar… Bugger!
The carnet documents themselves have 3 parts – when you enter the country one part of the document is removed and a permanent part that stays with you is stamped. On exiting the country the second part is removed, and the permanent part is stamped again. Provided you’ve got stamps both in to, and out of, every country that stamped the carnet, then you get your money back at the end of the trip! Simple! I just don’t want to think about the nightmare if our bikes get stolen… I’m pretty sure my Norwich Union policy won’t cover me in the Congo!
- Visas
Ah yes, African Visas… The more I hear about these, the more I think they’re a lottery based on how officials are feeling on the day of issue. One chap I know, who has just finished the trip, was unlucky enough to hit the Angolan issuing office in the Democratic Republic of Congo on a bad day – the result? He was issued an Angolan visa for only 5 days! Five 13 hour days on the bike later, and he made it to the border halfway through the 6th day! Sheesh! Luckily, the border official on that side was having a good day, and stamped him out no problems! We’ll get as many as possible of the visas issued prior to the trip, but it’s unavoidable that many of them will have to be applied for en route, resulting in wasted days and frustration. It’s all part of the challenge though. No one said Africa was supposed to be easy…
- Vaccination Certificates
Many border crossings require proof of vaccination against yellow fever, and possibly Cholera. We’ll need to make sure that we’re fully up to date on our meningitis, polio, tetanus, hepatitis and typhoid shots as well – oh joy! I’m pretty sure I’m all tickety boo from my travel preps for Central America… Maybe there is a needle in Jody’s future though!
I’ve been well schooled on the African philosophy on Malaria and prophylactics. Anti malarial tablets will typically only protect you from certain strains of malaria, and can actually mask symptoms if another strain is contracted. The result is that the disease’s effects are far worse by the time it’s detected. The advice I’ve been given is rather to take drugs with us for early treatment if any symtoms are felt. Don’t worry Mum, I’ll be having a good chat with my doctor about this approach!
Slightly more exciting than the paperwork are the last few mods that I’ve been making to the bike. The key changes have been around getting the ergonomics right – setting the bike up so that I can comfortably stand up on it without being hunched over like Quasimodo. Call me QuasiMOTO! Ha ha ha… (cringe)
Here’re the last few mods –
- Carbon Fibre Tank Guards – saaaaaweeeeeeeeet! Oh yes, we’ve increased our carbon fibre footprint! One of the biggest weak points of these bikes is the giant tank (that’s the entire great big orange thing in front of the seat for the uninitiated). These tank guards protect it from crashes onto rocks, which while unlikely to pierce the tank, could easily snap off the previously exposed fuel tap. That would be bad news in the desert.
- Tank Bag – we’ve bought nifty little fully waterproof tank bags from Wolfman Luggage.These are brilliantly handy for things like travel documents, and easy access to cameras, mp3 players, bribe money, etc.
- Higher rise handlebars – yeah, yeah… boring mod, but critical for comfort. And check out the beautiful “Stealth Black” colour! Mmmmmm.
- Lower rise footpegs – not sure how I can glorify this one. They’re the second part of the ergonomics equation. Kinda like supply=demand in economics but less to do with profits, and more to do with riding motorcycles.
- In-line fuel filter – to help with the dodgy African lumpy fuel.
So that’s just about it for modifications that we’ll be making to the bike, the exception being spring rate changes on the suspension for all the extra weight we’ll be carrying. I know, that’s a bit dull too, but com’mon, we’re kinda struggling here trying to provide interesting content on our website with 3 months still to go before we start the trip!
One final note to finish off – Catherine and I were recently in Croatia, and I couldn’t resist the urge to do some “adventure riding” on foreign soil. We rented a 50cc Piaggio scooter (that’s one scooter, not each!) and hit the trails! Here’re some pics of us tearing it up!
Roll on January!
Dan
Ernie gets wired…
Posted on September 9th, 2007 by 2muppets.
Categories: 01. Getting Prepared
Post Location: GPS Map
One of the issues on a trip like ours is the number of electronic gadgets that need to be carried and kept charged (iPod, camera, phone, Sat phone). The KTM comes with a standard power outlet in the dash but not in cigarette lighter format (the most common charging adapter for the above units). So this weekend I had a crack at beeing a ’sparky’ and installed silicon encased wires from the battery (via fuse) along the frame, to a switch mounted on the dash and then onto a cigarette power outlet mounted on the roadbook holder. I will feed the GPS power cables into the same wire route soon. The switch on the dash gives you the flexibility of running constant power from the battery when needed, without relying on the ignition being switched on.
It hasn’t been all work and no play, I recently joined a South African adventure rider forum called WildDogs (www.wilddog.za.net). Some of the guys were organising a ride a couple of weeks back around the De Wildt area north west of Pretoria - its about 20 sq km’s of open tribal land (the locals are very welcoming of well behaved riders). The terrain is bushveld with plenty of dry river beds, rocky crags, fast single track. 8 of us met at Morula Sun with mostly 640 KTM’s, a KLR, 2 Beemers, and KDX plastic. We had a fantasic day out riding, popping into the odd ’secret shabeen’ en route. For a rull ride report go to: http://www.wilddog.za.net/forum/index.php?topic=9587.0 (hit F5 if the pics fail to load on the first try). A sample below:
I have finalised my shipping company and the carnet de passage is now ready for collection - with a shipment date in the 1st week of November time really is marching on. I have 7.5 weeks to finish spec’ing up the bike, get it fully serviced, crated and dropped off at the Shenker offices - between now and then I do have the KTM Rallye Raid to look forward to: http://www.ktmadventure.co.za
Check back here soon for a post from Dan - as per usual he is one step ahead of me on the bike mods and has added some sweet new carbon fibre bits……oh yes carbon baby !!!
Keep well - Jody
Ernie undergoes rhinoplasty!
Posted on July 15th, 2007 by 2muppets.
Categories: 01. Getting Prepared
Post Location: GPS Map
As you can tell from our recent posts, the plans for the trip are progressing very well. Dan has gotten Bert’s ears wet so to speak, we have added a cool new Google Map page onto this website (so you can track the location/terrain of each post en-route), and would you believe it I have gotten my hands dirty and made some modifications to Ernie - the major change being the front fender. Ernie now has a more rugged ‘roman’ nose as apposed to the ‘Prince Charles’ number he was sporting last month! See the before and after shots below….
One of the many perks of living in Joburg (and there are many besides what the papers tell you!) is the accessibility to dirt roads/tracks. I spend a couple hours each weekend riding the Megaliesberg area - a bushveld area about 40 min away from my home. Fortunately my younger sister Carey is also an avid bike fan, and when she is not piloting an Airbus A319, loves eating her big brothers dust (she rides a BMW GS650 so is naturally slower 
).
I can’t believe that we are already approaching August, with only 5 months left before the big departure date. We are getting pretty close to having the bikes up to ‘trip’ spec - now begins the admin of visa’s, carnet de passage, bike shipping, insurance, medical etc…..still the excitement continues to grow, and the challenge of staying focused at work even harder.
Cheers for now
Jody
PS. If you have any questions or feedback send us a note on the guestbook and we will get back to you as soon as possible.
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Bert gets DIIIIIIIRRRRRTY!!!!!!
Posted on July 13th, 2007 by 2muppets.
Categories: 01. Getting Prepared
Post Location: GPS Map
In my last post I promised a trip report about my first ride out with Shaun, the former motocrosser from South Africa. Shaun now drives trucks for a potato farm, near Ross-on-Wye, up near the Welsh border, and is actually doing the same trip as Jody and me, leaving about 2 weeks before us. Damn good guy too. Last Friday I jumped on Bert for a wee trip up to ride with him and a couple of his mates. Here’s an edited version of an email I sent to Jody on Monday… (I was still buzzing!)
I’m a broken man - put about 5-600 miles on the bike over the weekend with some AWESOME riding in Wales. My back is killing me today!
We threw some proper tackies (knobbly tyres) on the bike and it’s a beastie! Mate any doubt I might have had in the back of my mind that this was not a proper trail bike were dispelled when I got Bert off road! Straight up grass mountains, through bogs, over rocks, across rivers - all in his stride! The bike performed flawlessly, and I was VERY happy with all of the mods - particularly the bar risers, the sidestand, the exhaust, the single brake conversion, and lastly but not leastly - the fork bleeders! It’s like opening a can of beer bleeding with these things! Just as satisfying to hear the little phssssst!
The other boys with their stock bikes were very envious (ha ha) - I swapped with Shaun for a bit, but his bike just didn’t feel right.
We had all sorts of dramas, with smashed petrol tanks, bikes dropped/drowned in rivers (completely under water), flat tyres on the trail, the works! None of it was a stress though as Shaun would just jump in and sort everything out for everybody! *(I can only hope that Jody’s technical skills continue to improve, cos I can’t take Shaun with me!).
I was very pleased with my riding and only put my bike down once, trying to get up a second grass mountain, with not enough speed - totally my fault! This was proper off roading I promise you - rim smashing, rutty, rocky stuff, not to mention the water - my boots were full of water all weekend, with river crossings and puddles regularly threatening to drown the bikes.
A good weekend all round with a shedload learnt about riding, and more importantly bike setup and maintenance - I’ve now got tyre changing to a fine art - it’s one beeaatch of a job though!
Shaun is a top man - very very helpful, and a very good rider. Knows his stuff about bikes, and was always the first in to sort things out when something went wrong. Was loving his wheelies on the 640 too!
Man I can’t wait to go now!”
So there you have it - I’m totally stoked about the whole weekend! It was so encouraging that the gear I’ve bought, the changes I’ve made, and more importantly - my riding, were up to the job! Now once my body has recovered I can’t wait to get up there again!
Apologies for the lack of action pictures, but I smashed my camera with my big ass when I got a rock ledge drop slightly wrong!
Dan
The 2 Muppets Ride (Run) Again!
Posted on June 13th, 2007 by 2muppets.
Categories: 01. Getting Prepared
Post Location: GPS Map
Well it’s been a long time between updates, so I thought I should write something up to keep our legions of fans satisfied!
So what have we been up to? Well, the 2Muppets (or should I say Muppeteers?) had our first outing in over 18 months, joining forces to take on the Edinburgh Marathon on May 27th!
I’d been training for months with regular long runs, and was feeling as fit as a fiddle, well, apart from the tummy upset, sore back and lack of sleep - Nervous maybe? A touch! Jody on the other hand had taken a somewhat more casual approach, choosing to only do the bare minimum training. For him this race was in itself only really a training run for the famous Comrades ultra marathon in South Africa in June (that he’s hoping to run back to back after completing it last year).
Unfortunately though, the snipers got word of this lack of preparation, and with the cracking pace set early on, there were several (expected) man down incidents towards the end of the race, with Jody pulling up lame and hobbling to the side of the road!! Still he managed to walk each cramp off, and finished with a very respectable time of 3:49, not his fastest time by any means, but not bad for a training run.
Here’s Jody chewing bees at the end of the run, and us proud as punch with our medals!
After running as ‘Team 2Muppets’ for 25/26ths of the race I felt a bit frisky toward the end, (and OK, maybe let my competitive side get the best of me!) and piled on a bit more pace for the last mile, to finish a minute ahead of Jody on 3:48. I was absolutely wrapped, and a little emotional to go with it, crossing the line at a full sprint, 12 minutes ahead of my goal time! Queue the blubbering idiot!
So now to my favourite topic, the bike mods! Where to start? Since I last wrote I’ve made the following upgrades to the bike:
(Sorry if there’s too much detail for some, I’m kinda writing this stuff up in case some other mug decides to do the same trip and they somehow learn of the site)
- I replaced the standard plastic handguards with snazzy Acerbis alloy reinforced guards.
- I fitted the motocross type high mudguard, though I haven’t been able to take the low one off just yet.
- I fitted the lovely Stenhouse Racing Scotts stabiliser mount. This allows mounting of a steering damper (coming soon) and also raises the bars by around 15 mm. And it looks cool!
- I mounted an SW Motech sidestand - this lovely (but heavy!) stand can be mounted alongside the OEM centre stand.
- I mounted integrated locks into the clamps on my pannier boxes.
- I swapped the regular (light but soft) alloy rear sprocket with the blinging, (heavy but strong) Stealth steel and alloy sprocket. And it looks sweeeeeeet too!
The bike had its first service, and a few upgrades were added into the bargain! he he!!
- The standard stainless steel muffler was replaced with an alloy “SXC Competition” muffler. It weighs less than 60% of the OEM heavy stainless can, it’s better breathing, looks better and sounds better too! And it makes Jody jealous!
- To ‘help her breathe’ a little better, the airbox was opened up with a racing airbox cover, and the carb was rejetted from a 152.5 to a 162.5 main jet.
Yesterday, I pulled the whole front end apart to put the fork gaiters on. While I was there I went a bit further and pulled the fork triple clamps off the bike as well, to enable access to the notoriously ill greased steering head bearings. I packed in a bit more grease, then put the whole thing back together, only to discover on the second to last bolt that I’d routed some cables the wrong way! DOH!!! Now I have to dismantle half of it again tonight to fix it!
I couldn’t resist adding these photos: One of Bert “beakless”; one of me “in training”, drinking South African beer while I worked; and one of Bert just looking sexy (without the damn low guard, man I hate that thing!)!!!
You may well wonder why all my ‘bike stories’ involve working on the bike, while Jody’s one story was about riding his! Well that’s because it’s miserable riding this thing in London. Too much traffic, and no dirt!
Over Easter I met another South African chap down in Wales, who has the same bike, and is planning the same trip as us, at much the same time. We’ve been in touch since, and now plan to do some trails in Wales early in July. This guy used to race enduro motocross, and dropped his bike in the drink crossing a river last time he was there, so look out for what I hope will be some good riding stories in my next update!
Dan
Ernie, and the baptism of fire!
Posted on April 23rd, 2007 by 2muppets.
Categories: 01. Getting Prepared
Post Location: GPS Map
As some of you may have noticed my partner in crime Dan ‘grease monkey’ Morgan has been furiously writing posts bragging about his Bert and the wonders of his mod’s.
Well, like a fat kid at a party with no cake I had had enough “hello Pro-Action, yes I would like a 640 Adventure, with Michelin T63 tyres, neoprene fork gaiters, and rim locks “ take delivery in a week, perfect see you then”
So, at the crack of dawn on Friday morning the very helpful Laetitia sorted out the paperwork and handed over the keys to my trusty new stead Ernie. First impressions are that this bike is tall, I am no limber Russian gymnast but getting my drumstick over the pannier and seat is one hell of a contortion act, god knows how I am going to manage with all the clobber of our trip packed on. With a massive grin I wave goodbye to the Goose to speed home to change and head off to work.
Now the rumour mill is always abound at the enthusiasm I show when starting a relationship, and I have to say it seems Ernie and mines has begun in a very similar fashion. You see a very good friend of mine Ryan ‘cheeseball’ Bruwer is getting married shortly and a bachelors party was being held in the Natal midlands for the man over the weekend.
So whilst on my ride home I started to put 2 and 2 together: my bike needs running in + I am due to drive the 500km that afternoon on my own = Ernie pal, we are taking a road trip !!
At lunch time I shot off home picked up the bike, riding clobber and made few calls to un-approving loved ones. 4pm arrived far too slowly, but eventually I was off atop Ernie (why could we have not given our bikes feminine names?). Having done a fair bit of road riding the last few months on the Suzuki I was feeling relatively comfortable which gave me time to soak up the new bike: it handles really well on the road and the torque of the big single cylinder engine really is a nice change from the high revving super bike.
About 100km into the trip I was in my element, setting African sun, the smell of farm lands, and on a bike I have been dying to ride for the last 5 months. The first surprise of the trip (there are many) came just after the Villiers toll - I looked behind me to check my blind spot (a good habit I am sure to forget) and noticed my back pack buffeting in the wind inside the right pannier box - hang on, sh*t where has the pannier cover gone - quick glance to the left, nope that one is still on - BOLLOCKS its come off and I have no idea where. Aha, I remember Grease Monkey mentioning something about locks he bought for his panniers - so I decide to start paying more attention to that muppet’s jabberings and press on with the trip.
At about the 300km mark I reach Harrismith, and decide to stop have a chocolate supermoo and check in with the Goose and the Old Lady. I also give Danno a ring to inform him of my progress and my lack of pannier cover - we laugh as he is also out on a ride and has had a GPS mount malfunction. Trans-Africa, in our sleep mate !!!!
Right, time to press on - Cheeseball and co will be on the cane train by now and I can smell the cream soda. Van Reenen’s pass (1100m) is an absolute blast in the dark on a bike with no other cars in site (yes mum I was doing 80km/h!?) - but then something interesting happens, the fuel light comes on - hmm I definitely remember Laetitia saying that I have 10km’s of fuel in the main tank after the light comes on - sh*t how could I have cocked this so badly, and I drove past a petrol station 30km or so ago (soooo stooopid!). I pull over at a sign indicating that its 58km to Escourt and I know the Ultra-City is 15 or so km before it. I give Danno a buzz who finds this situation hell of an amusing but re-assures me that the reserve is 7 litres and that I should get “at least 70km, so you are sweet mate”, so I reckon kiff, stick the selector to reserve and barrel off. The kilometres are peeling off but there is a serious uneasy feeling in the old gut - an SA highway is not a lekker place to be running out of fuel at night, especially Escourt (just think Deliverance). And then, just like many a SA cricket match, there is massive joy as I see the Petrol station on the next crest, and just as quickly as that joy arrives the engine splutters to death. OH MY HOLY CRAP !!!! The sign ahead says “Ultra City - 8km”. Right well at least I can see it so lets start free wheeling down the hill.
I was next to that tree when the last spark fired, the petrol station is up on the hill in the DISTANCE !
Lesson 1) A KTM is a crap bicycle, it only just keeps enough momentum to keep upright on a fairly good down.
I eventually make it to the bottom of the hill, where another sign reads “Ultra City - 4km”, oh bollocks this is gonna suck. What did cheer me up was those considerate individuals in their 3 series Beemers flying past at 140km/h giving a hoot of condolences - tossers ! I start pushing, and like a good Vindaloo you start off thinking it’s oh so do-able, but then the arms start to ache, the blister from your new Gaerne boots starts to sting, and you have that sudden thought - thank god this is tarmac - hang on, we are going to be doing this for months through desert.
So I decide to phone my good friend Dan because someone should be getting amusement out of this - he nearly wets himself and see’s no need to question or bring up his 70km estimate. Just when I am about to take a wee siesta on the pavement a beaten up Toyota Tazz stops and 2 black guys get and wonder over to me. I start to think - if they steal the bike then I won’t have to push it up the rest of the hill !! Instead they explain they work for a tow truck company and drive up and down the highway looking for ‘victims’ - after which the one fella offers to help push my bike up the last 500m of hill - I want to hug the man, but I am wearing biking kit and don’t want to give the Beemer drivers even more to hoot at !!
Lesson 2) There is good in this world, even in tow truck drivers from Escourt!
By now I am getting frantic phones from Nic, and the folks, even one from on board the cane train but there is too much debauchery to hear them properly. Finally we make it to the petrol station, fill up Ernie, grab a round of cokes for all and sundry - then turn the ignition to fire him up… nothing. OH MY SATCHEL ! The battery is now dead from having my lights on - jumper cables anyone, not a sausage. Right, lets kick start the beast - oh hang on, I haven’t even read the manual yet, let alone know how to kick start a single (a few tricks to it). Again on the phone to the trusty Danno who finds this even more amusing and manages to give me directions. I am useless at it and don’t have the patience or the strength of drumstick.
Eventually after an hour of deliberating the trusty tow truck driver whips out the battery from his car, sits it alongside Ernie’s and uses the trusty old African version of jumper cables - 2 spanners across the terminals, Ernie fires to life and the assembled staff all cheer happily.
By now it is midnight, and the loved ones are a little frayed around the edges. I send them all a message that all is well and I am on the move. The rest of the journey (which by now I have started to see as rather amusing) is really beautiful - clear skies and fantastic moonlit rolling hills! Finally I reach the bachelors to cheers/jeering and one hell of a stiff John Deere.
Lesson 3) The cane train will always wait for you to catch up !
On Saturday I managed to get in some good dirt riding around the Dargle area, and a couple of boys gave the KTM a spin. Fortunately the ride back went without incident, and Ernie is safely parked up at home with 1260km’s on the clock and due his first service after only 3 days of ownership.
Lesson 4) Relationships built from adversity will last a life time !!
Further muppet-like escapades to follow, will keep you posted.
Jody
PS. No, this has not dampened my excitement for trip
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Living with Bert, The Early Days…
Posted on April 11th, 2007 by 2muppets.
Categories: 01. Getting Prepared
Post Location:
So I’d had Bert exactly one full day before I started pulling him apart to rebuild him bigger, better and stronger than he was before. Nice easy job to start with, installing the stock KTM Roadbook Holder that the GPS will mount to.
Even this relatively simple job was enough to unnerve me - working on a brand new motorbike that is the most expensive thing I’ve ever bought is a bit different to working on my old 1965 Landrover! I eventually got the roadbook holder mounted up, and the bike all back together again, and damn fine it looks too!
One problem - I don’t think the Austrians are as smart as the Germans, as this standard part fouls the standard plastic handguards, and I’ve lost a bit of steering lock, as well as the ability to actually lock the steering to the side when I take the key out! KTM have been making this bike for about 9 years, you’d think that they would have thought of putting a bend in the bar or something by now! I’m hoping that the alloy handguards I bought will solve this, otherwise I may have to bodge something, or alternatively, live with it.
The bike is starting to feel a bit more natural, and with the whopping 25.5ltr fuel tank I’ve only managed to run out of fuel once - right in the middle of a set of traffic lights after pushing past all the queuing cars!!! Now I know what the difference is between the fuel reserve light and the manual fuel reserve tap however. A very good thing to know… as Jody was to discover himself the hard way!
Bert Comes Home!
Posted on April 11th, 2007 by 2muppets.
Categories: 01. Getting Prepared
Post Location:
Bert was officially received by me on Friday the 30th of March. Here he is in all his brand spanking newness!
I picked up a few extra bits and pieces along with the bike as Bracken do 20% off KTM parts bought with the bike, and I wanted to take as much advantage of this as I could.
These pieces included:
- Steel rear sprocket
- Front sprockets one size bigger and one size smaller than the standard (so I could alter the gearing)
- A “cockpit” bar that the GPS mounts to
- Alloy reinforced handguards (to protect hands and levers in a crash)
- Inner bags for the panniers (not sure I’ll use em, but seemed like a good idea at the time!)
- Pieces for a high mudguard conversion (I’m going to replace that ugly and dangerous front guard with a high motocross type mudguard)
- Neoprene gaiters for the forks (to keep dust etc out of the fork sliders)
Typically, it was raining when I took it home on Friday night, but Saturday was blissfully bright and clear, so I took him out for his first ride, a blat down the A2 to Canterbury!
Now this was not as romantic as it might seem, as when running a bike in the last thing that you want to do is stick to constant revs for any period of time… Instead you need to be constantly changing revs, and up and down through the gears. What this meant for me was sitting in the slow lane, letting my speed drop to about 40mph, popping into 3rd, then accelerating hard up through the gears to about 80mph. The other road users loved it!
My mate Hayden was kind enough to point out that Bert’s a bit like a big orange two wheel tractor - very agricultural, and very loud. Hayd was looking for the handle to wind down the plough! Oh well, he’ll be very good in the desert I’m sure, even if he’s not so great in London.
Anyway, I put around 200 miles on the bike, but he’s still feeling a bit tight, and is definitely being restricted by the standard exhaust and airbox - I see more mods on the horizon! BIGGER, BETTER, FASTER!!!
Dan